Darkest Waters
by MugenYumeDansu
Summary: AU, OOC, Yuzu Kurosaki commits suicide and Karin is trying to deal with it. Hitsugaya shows up at the funeral and comforts her. UNDER RE-VAMP!
1. Chapter 1

Hurt/Comfort

XXX

A/N: This is an AU, Wherein Karin and Hitsugaya are both 13, Yuzu and Karin are not twins but, Karin is a year older, Ichigo is in a gang, run by Kenpachi, and his groupies, and Isshin is an abusive prick. Please do not get all pissy about it, it's meant for story development. Also, though this is a love story, it won't be all short sweet cuteness. It will be long, drawn-out, bitter-sweet, tear-and-blood covered, muddy, depressing, and very messy. Please enjoy it all.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of this story, please don't sue.

XXX

Darkest Waters

Hurt/Comfort

A Bleach AU fanfiction

Please read and review

Darkest Waters

Chapter 1: The funeral

The fights were too much. The screaming and crying and violent intent behind words that meant nothing, and everything. It was her entire existence. Yuzu was the soft quiet one who took things in and bottled them up, and Ichigo was the loud one who fought back. But Karin was the one that it weighed on most. She was the tough one who everyone thought was the one who'd do it. Who'd end her own life. But they were wrong.

They found her body laying face down on the floor, with a note in her fist. The blood around her permeated the air and soaked through cloth. When Isshin found her that night it was too late. The paramedics came and took her away, the floors were scrubbed, and Isshin made funeral arrangements.

They buried her next to her mother.

At the funeral there were faceless people with no names who wished the family well. Karin couldn't stand any of it. They shook her hand and offered condolences. They had empty faces, empty eyes. They were all a blur that in a year or two she wouldn't even remember. She hated this.

She told Ichigo she was going to the restroom and snuck away at the first chance. She got to the door and looked back. No one cared that she was here. She snuck out the door and around the back. It was early spring. The flowers had yet to bloom and it was cold and wet. Karin didn't care. She was so sick and tired of people in general. Nature was better than all that sadness and oppressing crowd of people who didn't even know her sister, but were there to get a free meal and have an excuse to get off of work for a day.

As Karin thought about it, she started to get angry. These people were using her sister's death for their own gains. Shit like this really pissed her off. She turned and punched the tree she was standing next to. Nothing happened. A voice from behind her startled her.

"The tree didn't do anything to you." Her head whipped around to see Toshiro Hitsugaya, one of her brother's classmates, standing there. He was dressed up in a black suit with his white hair slicked back, unlike its usual spikey chaos. It looked strange on him.

"What do you want?" Karin hoped her voice wasn't shaky.

"Well, I would say I came here to give my condolences for your sister's death, but it wouldn't help. It never does." He stepped forward and reached up to pull a cherry blossom from the tree, his eyes soulful and sad. Karin turned to face him.

"Then why are you here?" she asked.

"To see your sister's funeral. Why else?" He looked at the delicate flower in his hand. Karin looked at the ground and dropped her arms to her sides. Her eyes burned and her vision blurred a little.

"Then why aren't you?" her voice was shaky now, her hands fisted in the black skirt she wore.

"I saw you first." He was so honest that Karin's heart jumped against her ribs. She didn't know what to say to him. Tears sprang to her eyes. She didn't care. She moved so fast that he was surprised when she was there in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and held her while she sobbed pitifully. She probably hadn't shed a tear for her sister until now. So he held her.

After a while she dried her tears and quieted.

"Are you feeling better now?" Hitsugaya asked, showing no sign of mockery, just pure comfort in his tone. Karin nodded. Hitsugaya didn't hold her longer than she wanted to be held, and he didn't baby her, like her brother would have. He had been there when she needed him, and now she didn't anymore. He turned and watched as she walked back into the building before he moved to follow.

Inside the building, surrounded by the faceless mob, Karin felt oddly at peace. She could feel Hitsugaya's eyes on her, and she saw him once or twice through the people who where gathered to mourn. She couldn't place it, but something about him calmed her. She knew he was Ichigo's classmate, but he was younger than the others. He was her age in fact. He'd skipped grades due to his nearly genius level test scores. Everybody knew about him because of that. How he'd become friends with her brother was beyond Karin, but she was somewhat glad. He was a decent person.

She turned her attention back to the people around her, noticing that people were slowly starting to take their seats in the viewing room. The service would begin soon. Sighing heavily she pushed herself away from the wall she'd been leaning against and made her way toward the bench where her family was seated. Ichigo was quiet and solemn. He blamed himself for what had happened, but Karin knew it wasn't anyone's fault. Her father was crying silently, staring at the photo of her sister, all surrounded by incense and candles. His fists where clenched in his lap. Karin felt bad for him. She took her seat and settled in for the wait, knowing that this was going to be an emotinal train wreck. At least she could get away from it all tonight. Well, she hoped so anyway.

XXX

A/N: I originally wrote this story in a dark time in my life, and just slopped it together. I never meant people to like it this much, and I certainly didn't intend to finish it, but since I've been getting more reviews than I wanted, with people demanding that I update (which I HATE it when people demand me to do anything, so you are damn lucky the Muses decided to kick me in the ass on this one or I'd just delete it) so I decided why the fuck not. Chapter 2 will be revamped shortly, but until then be patient. I'll write whenever I have the inspiration, and finish whenever I feel like. In the mean time go check out my inuyasha story Fur is not my enemy. I've worked hard on my pet project, and it needs some attention please? Thanks, R&R.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: First up is an apology. Sorry about that last message, I was in a bad mood, and irritated by getting so many requests for updates on a story marked 'Complete.' I looked at it later and decided it was kind of bitchy of me to snap at my readers. Sorry guys.

Now, chapter 2 is complete. It is mostly Karin dealing with her feelings, in the wake of her sister's death. Its short I know. Forgive me?

XXX

Darkest Waters

Chapter 2: After the Burial

Karin tossed and turned, grunting and whimpering in her sleep. The nightmare was the same as the last. And the one before it. She saw her sister, laying on the floor of their room, bleeding from her wrists, staring straight at Karin.

"Why?" Yuzu asked in a whisper. "Why didn't you save me? Why didn't you come before it was too late?You could have saved me..."

"No..." Karin whispered, hot tears running down her face. She tried to move her legs, tried to go to Yuzu, but she couldn't move her body. Like it was frozen in place. She shook her head violently, unable to do anything.

"Karin, why didn't you stop them? You could have stopped them. Then this never would have happened... You could have, but you didn't." Yuzu glared at Karin accusingly.

"No, Yuzu. I couldn't... I couldn't do anything, I couldn't stop it any more than you could." Karin said brokenly, choking back a sob.

"You could have, but you didn't want to! You didn't care. Did you want me to die? Did you? Did you want me to kill myself?" Yuzu screamed, her eyes blazing with anger.

"No! No, I never wanted this! I love you Yuzu, you're my sister. Please..." Karin was pleading now, sobbing, fighting so hard to free herself from whatever was holding her in place.

"Liar! You never loved me! You didn't care about anyone but yourself! I did everything for you. I cooked, I cleaned, I did EVERYTHING! And did you ever help me? NO! This is your fault! You did this. You caused this!" Yuzu was screaming now.

"NO!" Karin screamed. She jolted awake at that second, jerking upwards, the scream stil caught on her lips. She sat there for a moment, breathing hard, staring into the darkness. As she caught her breath she became aware of the raw ache in her throat. She must have been screaming in her sleep.

Karin slumped a little, realizing it had been another nightmare. Sighing she pushed her hair away from her face and slid out of bed. She got a drink from the bathroom sink before retrning to bed. She laid there, staring into space, knowing she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. Not after that.

XXX

Karin turned over again in her bed. She couldn't stop thinking about what had happened at her sister's funeral. She'd been so open with Hitsugaya. More than she had with her family. Why? She didn't know. Why did she feel so calm with him around? Why did it bother her so much? She couldn't sleep, because whenever she closed her eyes she saw her sister's lifeless face. Her dreams were filled with those images, and she couldn't seem to get away from her thoughts. She wondered, why had Yuzu killed herself? Why had she taken her own life? Karin had thought her sister was stronger. She wished she could tell Yuzu that. Wished she'd been there. If only she'd stayed home with her sister that morning. If only she'd come home a little earlier, instead of playing soccer with her school friends. If only, if only. Karin grew frustrated with herself. These thoughts were going nowhere, and they wouldn't bring back her sister. They would only make her more depressed. And they certainly wouldn't let her get any sleep. They hadn't for the last two weeks. Snarling at herself, Karin flipped the covers off of herself and got up, going into the bathroom. She stared in the mirror. Her reflection stared back. The reflection of a sad, tired, heartbroken girl whose sister had died a few weeks ago. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. They wouldn't fall. She wouldn't let them. She was stronger than that.

She stood there, eyes burning with unshed tears, fighting her emotions, for several minutes. When she didn't feel the tears anymore she closed her eyes and just breathed. Her lungs, which had become constricted during her fight with her tear ducts, began to loosen, and she breathed deeply. When she felt less like crying until she her eyes were so swollen and sore she couldn't see straight, she opened her eyes. She looked calmer.

She knew she wasn't though. She felt the vortex of emotions swirling below the surface. They were closer than ever, and she knew that eventually she'd break. But not until she couldn't stop it anymore. She'd hold it in until it killed her if she had to.

Sighing heavily, Karin looked away from the mirror and ran some cold water in the sink. Splashing some on her face, she instantly felt better. She wiped her face dry with the fluffy blue towel that hung on the towel ring next to the sink. With a pang of sadness Karin realized that she was holding a towel that her sister had picked out. She looked around. The light blue and yellow color scheme had all been Yuzu's choosing. She'd picked the blue because Karin had liked it, and the yellow for herself. The shower curtain was covered in the little rubber duckies and bubbles that Yuzu had thought were so cute. And the toothbrush holder was light blue. The soap dish was blue. The shelves were painted yellow, and the wall was blue. the towels and washcloths and even the basket that held the little lotions and hairstyling products were all a mix of blue and yellow. It was all so well blended that Karin was struck by irony. Her life had involved her sister so deeply that now that she was gone it seemed...desolate. Empty. Sad. Karin felt alone for the first time. Truly alone.

She wrapped her arms around herself and turned away, walking into her bedroom. She sat down on her bed and scooted up against the headboard, moving the pillows around her like a small chair. She laid her chin on her knees and stared across the room. At her sister's empty bed. She hardly moved, hardly blinked all night. She sat there, silently, staring across the room, at the space where her sister's empty bed no longer was.


	3. Chapter 3

Next Chapter! Woot!

Yeah, I know its short. Again. But I think I'm going to keep to shorter chapters. They're easier to produce. Enjoy this one. And you're welcome for two updates in one night. ;)

Chapter 3: Life Keeps Moving

As the first light of predawn lightened the sky, Karin's alarm went off. She reached out and slammed the button to shut of the buzzing annoyance. After laying there for a minute or two staring at the ceiling she got up and got dressed for school. She walked downstairs, to the kitchen, and started making breakfast. She wasn't very good at cooking, and the omlettes she made were slightly burnt, and not even close to as neat, or tasty, as her sister could make, but they didn't taste so bad. The white rice she steamed and packed into her bento lunch box was not quite as light and fluffy as Yuzu had made, but it packed into the larger compartment just the same. She reached into the refridgerator to get the pickled plumbs and noticed four small blue bento boxes. She picked the one on top up and noticed the tape on the side. 'Karin' was written in Ichigo's handwriting on the white tape. Karin smiled at the thought of her brother getting up early to cook. He was a decent cook, but nowhere near... She pushed the rest of the thought aside and popped the lid to look and see what was in the box. A neatly packed compartment of white rice with three pickled plums in the center, one small compartment of lettuce rolls, steamed just the way she liked, a compartment of cheese omlette slices that were a little singed looking, and a compartment of little steamed weiner octopae, with little faces drawn sloppily on them in ketchup. Karin smiled sadly and sat the bento on the counter. It was her favorite lunch. She picked up the next one and opened it to look too. A compartment of white rice with a small pink berry packed into the middle, a compartment of tangerine slices, peeled and arranged in a semi-neat flower on top of two bundles of crunchy looking snow peas, with another strawberry in the center of the flower, and a compartment of omlette slices with a layer of sweet and sour sauce over the top, and an entire compartment of the sweet looking strawberries. The third bento held a compartment of cold curry and a compartment of rice, and some spiced apples. The fourth held a large compartment full of different kinds of sushi, and a small compartment with wasabi sauce, and a last compartment of spring rolls.

Karin placed all but the first bento back where they had been and looked at her sloppily prepared one. She squared her shoulders and went back to her cooking. She fixed a few fried shrimp, and some boiled eggs and packed them into the side compartment, popped on the lid and laid her chopsticks on top. She pulled the little blue bento sack her sister had made out of an old umbrella's sections for her, and packed the lunch her brother had made into it. She put her sloppily made lunch in there too and tied the ends together as tight as she could and headed out.

XXX

School was hell. As usual. Everyone avoided her, as usual. Or at least what had become usual in the four months since her sister's death. She looked out the window most of the class time, and ignored everyone, barely listening to the teachers. At lunch she hid on the roof and ate both her bento and the one her brother had made. When the bell for class rang she ignored it and stayed on the roof. She took a nap in the shade and woke up when the last bell rang. she waited until everyone was either gone or in club functions and went to get her stuff from her locker.

Instead of going home she wandered around town for a couple of hours. When she finally came home is was to a silent house. Her father was sitting in the kitchen with a drink in front of him. Ichigo was out. Karin wondered where, but knew he was probably with those thugs he hung around with. Karin threw her bag onto her bed and changed out of her school uniform and into some comfy clothes. She turned on her stereo and booted up her computer. When she checked her email she found a few from her friends, asking how she was holding up. She answered none of them. She shut down her computer and leaned back in her chair. Her head fell back and her arms fell limp at her sides. Staring at the ceiling, she thought about everything. And nothing. She counted the bumps in the ceiling, and when she got bored with that she counted the shadows. Finally she made herself move. She got up, shut off her radio, grabbed her lunchboxes, and went downstairs. Her father was no longer sitting at the table, but his glass was. Karin picked up the empty glass and put it and her bento boxes in the sink. There were a couple more glasses and two plates. Karin washed all the dishes, dried them and put them away. She wiped down the counter, the table. She swept the floor, and then sat down for a minute. Looking around she saw that there was nothing else to do. She wasn't hungry, her father had either already eaten, or he wasn't going to, and Ichigo probably wouldn't be home tonight. He hadn't been around much since the funeral. He hadn't been to school either. Karin didn't know if he ever would again. Maybe it would be better if he never came home. At least her father and brother wouldn't fight then. Her fists balled up at her sides thinking about the reason her family was torn apart now. She felt a moment of pure rage at the males for their behaviour. Maybe if they didn't always fight, maybe if they'd at least tried to get along, then maybe Yuzu would still be here. Then her rage vanished and left her feeling bereft. It wasn't really their fault.  
Her train of thought was broken by the front door opening. She had no idea how long she'd stood there, lost in thought, but the sky was dark, and the streets were quiet now. Karin looked into the entryway to see her brother and three other guys walk in. Ichigo walked into the kitchen.  
"Hey Karin. Where's Dad?" He asked, pulling out a seat and plopping down. Two of the three guys did the same. The third leaned up against the counter. Ichigo looked like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. He probably hadn't.

"I don't know. He was here when I got home but I think he left after that." She scrutinized all of the strangers. The one leaning against the counter had his arms crossed. He was bald and had red marks by his eyes. He was carrying a wooden katana on his back in a velvet sheath tied around his chest by a thin back cord. He was around Ichigo's age and he looked buff to Karin. He had a black t-shirt on, baggy blue basketball pants, and a loose jacket that matched, the sleeves pushed up to the elbow. He was scowling, but somehow he was still attractive.

The guy sitting closest to her brother had long red hair, braided down his back with a yellow bandana tied around his forehead. This one had black tribal looking tattoos running from his eyebrows to his temples, and up into his hairline under the bandana. Karin could see more tattoos on his arms and just under the collar of his white tanktop. He was wearing a pair of baggy jeans too, and sitting like he didn't care what the world thought of him. His brown eyes looked disinterested and cold, but he didn't give off a dangerous vibe to Karin. He was muscular, like the bald one, but it seemed to be less intimidating on the redhead.

She looked at the last guy. He wasn't like the others, but he fit into their group perfectly. He had spikey black hair, and dark brown eys that were almost black. He had a tattoo of the number 69 on one cheek and three scars on the other. He was wearing a black button down t-shirt and black slacks. He had a light jacket tucked into his belt. He was pale and just as muscular as the other two, but he made the other two seem cuddly. He was chewing gum, and blew a bubble every now and then, but didn't move other than that. He was sitting with one leg crossed over the opposite knee and an arm slung over the back of his chair.

They didn't look very friendly, and it made Karin nervous for a moment, until she remembered that even though her brother wasn't home as much anymore, he was still super protective of his family. He wouldn't bring anyone here that might hurt her. She scanned her brother again, and noticed for the first time that he was just as muscular as the others. Her brother's hair had grown out a little too. now it was shaggier and brushed his shoulders at the back. That surprised Karin. She hadn't noticed at the funeral because she'd been distracted by everything else going on around her. Ichigo was wearing a dark blue tshirt and light blue jeans, with his red and yellow 21 hoodie tied around his waist.

"So, where do ya think he went?" Ichigo asked as Karin finished noting her brother's looks.

"I don't know. He just up and left. Didn't say anything to me." She looked at the table. Ichigo sighed and leaned back in his chair, a mirror to the way she sat in her room, arms dangling at his sides, head laying back, staring at the ceiling. They were more alike than she'd ever given credit, she mused. The redhead spoke in a gruff voice.

"So, do we wait or come back later?" He asked. Ichigo didn't move for a minute, then lifted his head.

"I don't know. I was hoping he would be here. I don't know where he'd be, so we can't go track him down, and I don't know when he'll be back." He looked lost in thought for a minute.

"True. And your sister is here by herself. I wouldn't feel right leaving her here alone, just in case he doesn't come home. Or...comes home pissed." This time it was the bald one that spoke. Ichigo took in what he said and looked sadly over at Karin.

"Ikkaku's right. I don't want to leave you here alone." Her brother looked like he was trying to make the most difficult descision on earth, adopting the 'thinker' pose. Karin knew that the one dubbed 'Ikkaku' was right. If her father came home drunk and angry, he would take it out on anybody close to him. And she would be the only one around this time. She looked over at the wall.

"So have you eaten?" the redhead asked her after a moment. she looked over and met her brother's eyes. They mirrored the question.

"Not hungry." She said, looking down at the floor. Ichigo made a disapproving noise in his throat.

"Alright. Go get dressed kiddo. And pack some stuff to take with us." Ichigo stood up, ruffled her hair and left the room as she glared at him. She heard him start up the stairs, and so she followed. The quiet one, whose name she still didn't know stood up to follow before the other two did. She went up to her room and quickly changed clothes. She grabbed a messenger bag from her closet. It was black and blue checkered, and she rarely got to use it. She didn't know when she'd be back, so she shoved several changes of clothes and some sleep clothes into it. She headed over to the bathroom and grabbed her hairbrush, shampoo, conditioner, and bodywash, and tucked them into the front of her bag. She threw her hair into a ponytail and headed back downstairs. Ichigo was already back downstairs. He'd changed clothes s well, and carried a bag of his own. Presumably clothing by the way it looked. Karin slipped her shoes on in the entryway, and Ichigo laid his arm over her shoulder as they left the house and headed out.


End file.
